I spent yesterday sitting out in Sorry camp with some of the women. Every time someone dies here all of their relatives move out of their over-crowded houses into tents and camp outside of the community for months at a time. Unfortunately because deaths here are too common, and because in this complex kinship system almost everyone is related the community spend so much time in Sorry camps. I don’t know that I have ever experienced such a raw expression of grief as people howled at the death of one of their loved ones. One of the elders told me that here you can’t let someone’s spirit go unacknowledged. I like the idea of it, I think so many people spend time stuffing grief into pockets, hiding it until it rears its head again. Although the immediate grief on community is so confronting, there is something beautiful about it. Here we can never refer to people who have died by their name any more, and if you are unfortunate enough to share their name you are called Kumuna.
I love talking to the women again about their lives, especially the elders. There is so much pain and hardship, and I have realised that Australia’s dark past has faces and names and real consequences, but there is still so much joy and strong culture, women who have sacrificed so much for children, often not even their own. They draw patterns in the sand while they talk and they cry and laugh often. I know that there is so much hidden about the culture that I may never understand and parts of community life now that I don’t like, but I hope that the strength and ability to feel and display emotion is something that I have learned from.
It is freezing here this morning and I can see my breath in the office! I am heading off to make pancakes for breakfast at the Rec Hall with the kids. It will be messy… but it will be fun!
Thinking of my beautiful friends
Shan
July 13, 2009 at 12:07 pm |
I can see what you appreciate about such immediate and raw expression of grief. I like the way, it seems from what I’ve read in your blog, that people in the community deal with their emotions so instantly and then let the negative energy go. Whilst dealing with the everyday hassles of our lives, so much emotion is tucked away and not dealt with, and so many people must keep carrying a whole lot of bad energy with them all the time. There is something beautiful, as you say, about expressing your grief in such a big way – I think I kind of like the notion of Sorry Camps – although I can’t see them taking off here – but how wonderful to just stop your life like that to really express your sadness and acknowledge that someone close to you has gone.
Missing you heaps and heaps.
Love Vaness